I've heard this question several times since Ella Kate started daycare. It's always an innocent question, fueled by real interest in most cases.
My answer?!?!
Not. One. Bit.
I wouldn't be truthful if I said that it didn't break my heart to leave her the first two days. She was so tiny and I was still overly emotional.
Okay, we all know there is a very real mommy feud between stay-at-home and working moms. The bottom line is that you have to do what is best for your family. There are pros and cons to both sides. And, frankly, I'm sick and tired of justifying our family life. I always have to soften my answer, since most inquirers are secretly wanting me to admit I feel horrible about our decision.
Nope, I don't. I love our arrangement. And here's why:
1. I l-o-v-e the fact that I'm showing Ella Kate that women can have it all. It might take work, but anything worth having does. I want to make sure that she knows it is possible to have a great family and a great job. Women all over the world are successful in balancing family and work. She'll know first hand that she can, too, if that's the road she wants to travel.
2. I have a great job with a company that values a work/life balance. If I need to be at home, I can be.
3. My parents sacrificed so that I could have a great education. They paid for all of it, undergrad, sorority, and masters, out of pocket - no loans. I think it would be disrespecful to scrap my earning potential in favor of Sesame Street. Although I do love Big Bird and Snuffy. We TiVo it and we watch it after work.
4. I earn good money. We are a dual income family. We are not that family who would save money by me staying home.
5. Ella Kate's daycare is fantastic and she receives excellent care. Maybe better care than if she were home with me. GASP! Her teachers are great and she loves interacting with the other babies. I went to see her at lunch today and she was more interested in "talking" with fellow cutiepie, Brooke, than acknowledging me. And I was so happy to see it.
6. I would hate staying home all day cleaning and picking up. I would go insane. I work, Richard works, and we share the domestic chores. It's fantastic.
7. We adjust Ella Kate's schedule so that she's awake while she's at home. We bond, snuggle, cuddle and play, probably as much as a stay-at-home families who put their babies to bed early.
You know what? It works. Ella Kate is thriving. She's a sweet, happy, smart little lady who is around loving people all day long. She's learning how to bond with others, play with friends, and adapt to different situations.
So, I hope all will remember that what works for one family might not work for another. I completly admire mommies who stay at home, but it isn't for me.
5 comments:
You go girl!
If I was as kick-ass as you I would have chosen the same path. Alas, I am not :)
Love you!
p.s. I need an EK fix, how bout a pic or two?
Hells yea.
Wow, a great blog. You're right - it is different for everyone. I am a SAHM and it can get so overwhelming - some days, I hate to admit it, I wish I had a job to go to just to get a "break" - and the constant picking up DOES drive me crazy!
You are very blessed to have had your parents pay for your entire education - WOW! That, I am jealous of. :-) My parents weren't going to contribute to college at ALL, it would have all been on my shoulders - and frankly, there was no way I could have afforded it. I would be paying school loans back the rest of my life. Not ideal to me.
I would go to work, but we'd have to put Cade in daycare, and because I am not a college graduate, the income probably would just make it to cover daycare, esp. in New England! So it's not worth it.
Anyway, that was a great blog Allison! Don't feel like you have to justify yourself. I think it is GREAT that you can have the best of both worlds.
x
There's a lot to be said for letting kids socialize at a young age & adjust to their parents not being the only world for them ;)
I've seen a difference in Noodle since we've brought her home with J & I'm not sure which I like better ~ but I know that for my family, it works best for me to be out with adult people & working. I really think I make a better mom in 4 hours a day than I would in 24. If that makes any sense at all!
I'm glad it works for you. I get tired of the same question in opposite: "Don't you feel guilty for wasting your education?" Ummm... no. I think my BS and MS are being put to pretty good use every day as a SAHM. And as the daughter of a working mom, I realized the first month of work after my first maternity leave that she must have been way more driven than I. It just wasn't for me, so I went to PT and then quit completely after #2.
Sometimes I view my husband's job as an escape, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Mommy wars are for the birds.... do what you gotta do.
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